Your hidden superpower

As a parent, you probably have many special skills – like carrying 6 grocery bags while balancing a toddler on your hip or sensing an imminent fall at the playground and proactively positioning yourself for catching. Did you know you also have a superpower?

As my son turns four today, I marvel at his metamorphosis (seemingly overnight) into a full fledged little boy. It also reminds me of one of the toughest lessons of parenthood. Being a parent means living in a constant state of letting go. As parents we have no choice but to learn and relearn (and relearn and relearn) how to let go of our kids. Crawling, walking, riding a bike, going off to school – all milestones that require us to loosen our grip. In addition to the big milestones, we let go in smaller ways every day as our kids become increasingly independent. Each time is challenging but each time we get a little better at it.

There is power in knowing how to let go. Much of life involves letting go – of things, beliefs and people.  Knowing how to let go is a superpower because not only is it a critical life skill, but people tend to not be very good at it by nature.  Our instinct is to cling to the familiar, but if we are willing to let go, the world opens itself up to us.

So our challenge to you this week is to embrace your superpower and start to wield it in other areas of your life!  What are you holding onto that you would be better off letting go?

- Perhaps it is a self-limiting belief of who you should or should not be or what you can or cannot do.
- Perhaps it is resentment from the past or fear of what might happen in the future.

Are you willing to let it go and open yourself up to all of the possibilities that lie ahead?

The Dangers of DIY in Business

Confession time! I’m the worst at investing in certain areas of my business. Actually, one area in particular; marketing. I’ll give you an example. The other day a marketing task came up and I caught myself declaring, “I can do it myself!” It’s something I declare often.

As the words flew out of my mouth I realized there is someone in my life who also uses that phrase often. My 3 year old! He’s at that age where he likes to do everything himself even though he’s competent at only a small fraction of it.  I know, it’s important for him to be independent, master skills on his own and exert some control over his world.  Yes, this type of attitude is fantastic for a 3 year old child.  Not so much for a 36 year old entrepreneur.

While technically I could fumble through the task to completion, it would take me much longer to finish and the result probably wouldn’t be as good as if I just let someone else do it (like…a specialist).

It’s not even about the money. It’s about control. I have a background in marketing. I use this background to justify controlling everything related to marketing down to the tiniest detail, to the point where most of the time I just do it myself.  The problem is, this is no longer the best use of my time.  I also have access to specialists who can handle these tasks much better than I can.

At one time it made sense for Diana and I to do everything ourselves.  That time has now passed and it’s time for me to admit it. So I vow, here and now, no more declarations ’3-year-old-style’.  I will let go and let the specialists do their thing so I can focus on what I do best.

Do you ever find yourself uttering a “Do it myself” declaration? Is it about something that isn’t the best use of your time?  If so, it’s time to let go. You have more important things to do! That’s our challenge to you this week.

The Art of Downtime

After 3 wonderful months, we are preparing to leave Costa Rica in a few days and head back to BC. For me, living in Costa Rica is a bit like undertaking therapy, a detox cleanse and having a daily massage, all rolled into one.  By the end of the 3 months here, I feel refocused, revived and refreshed and ready to go back to the “real world” and kick some ass!

One of the most important daily rituals I have been using lately is meditation.  Don’t worry, this is not going to be a post about the benefits of mediation, though I do think that anyone could benefit from a regular meditation practice. Like Diana, for one, who has never tried it (hint, hint). 

Incorporating meditation into my daily schedule has me thinking about how we have lost the art of downtime.  It is no longer a regular part of daily life because most people can’t or won’t disconnect from their myriad devices that deliver a sea of information on a constant, unrelenting basis.

I recently read an article that discussed the concept and value of the “creative pause” – a state described as “the shift from being fully engaged in a creative activity to being passively engaged, or the shift to being disengaged altogether. This phenomenon is the seed of the break-through ‘a-ha!’ moments that people so frequently report having in the shower. In these moments, you are completely isolated, and your mind is able to wander and churn big questions without interruption.”

We all require creativity to live our lives to the fullest, and more and more of us rely on that creativity to earn a living.  Perhaps it is time we treat downtime as an essential self-care activity.  Easier said than done, though. No one else can disconnect for you. You have to make the time (and space) to turn off all of your devices, sit or lie down by yourself and clear your mind.

Our thoughts are like waves.  They come in sets and many times they come in so fast and furious that they are overwhelming.  Downtime creates some space between the waves to allow us to experience quiet, when our mind is still like placid water. Then, when the next set of thoughts comes rolling through, we’re ready for them.

So, here is a challenge for the next week – take 30 minutes each day for downtime. Once you have incorporated downtime for 7 days in a row, come back and tell us what has changed in your life.  We’ll bet you’ll experience some great a-ha moments and can’t wait to hear about them!

What if you don’t know what you want?

What do you really want out of your life?  Hard question, I know.

Knowing what you want your dream lifestyle to look like can seem almost as challenging as achieving it.

So how do you go about getting to the bottom of what you really want and decoupling it from what you’ve been influenced to want by friends, family and society?

Here’s a suggestion. Start with identifying where you are today, and then figure out where you want to go.

Answer the following questions in a few sentences:

1. Why do you drive the kind of car you drive?

2. Why do you choose to live in the neighbourhood you live in?

3. Why did you choose your last vacation destination?

4. Why do you what you do for a living?

Review your answers and check in with yourself:

  • Do your reasons resonate with who you really are and what you want? Or,
  • Do they reveal that your choices were made in part to portray an image of yourself that you want to reflect to the world?

Getting to the heart of why you have made major choices in your life in the past will lead to clearer answers about what you want your future to look like – for you and not anybody else.

Update from Pretiree Eva Hamori

We have been following Eva Hamori’s Pretirement adventures, including moving her family overseas and being featured in House Hunters International! The excitement continues in this new installment from Eva.

Eva’s Pretirement Update

Our family is settling into our new home, enjoying the village lifestyle in Capestang, France and exploring our surroundings. Just wrapped up filming the House Hunters International TV show where we buy essentials for the kid’s rooms and set up our Pretirement life.

#1 We keep hearing do what you love and everything falls into place

We test this theory as my husband, Alfonz starts up South Westy Rentals our home based rental company that rents out Westfalia Camper Vans. The very same campers we travel around Europe in. It seemed like a natural progression for Alfonz to do what he truly loves. He happens to have 20 years experience with European vehicles combining his knowledge with his passion. www.south-westy.com , our website has been launched, and is taking orders for late Spring.

#2 There is room in your life for everyone’s happiness

We still dream of owning a B&B. On the road to happiness a little bump turns my big dream into a smaller one. We initially wanted a large B&B complex and we hoped it would become our family business. With the bank lending policies changing all over the world, we were denied. I believe everything happens for a reason and instead of giving up on our dream of owning a Bed & Breakfast, we roll with the punches and we compromised. By building a smaller apartment ‘Gite’ onto our home, I still have my ideal life in France! The space has private access and use of the pool. There is truly room for everyone’s happiness in our new life.

#3 Small sacrifice, big reward

Making less money doesn’t have to mean it will always be that way. If all goes according to plan, these business ventures based on our interests will grow just like any other business. For now, we start off small and build slowly. We still have the walnut apartment, our rental in Budapest, which helps out.

#4 Our travel family loves our time together

We want to show our children Daniel and Angelina the world, something other than a stressful 9-5 job. Life has options and it changes over a lifetime.  We have to adapt to those changes as we pursue happiness.

With more time to spend together, we have time for the things we love to do: playing along the Canal du Midi with the kids, being there to help with their homework, and our family learning a new language.

While the kids are in school, we have time to pursue our own interests as well as business ventures. For me that means writing about our family adventures and how we got here. For Alfonz that means spending time on his BWM R1200GS motorbike exploring the roads of his new land.

Still pursuing happiness!

Eva

The Magic Hour

Picture what you’d do today if you had an entire hour to yourself to spend doing exactly what you wanted. What would you do?

The next thought after you answered was likely, “But I don’t have an hour today.”

If you find that you consistently can’t find an hour in your day to do something that is important to you…that fulfills you…that fills you up so you can take on another day – here’s a technique.

1. Write down everything you need to do today.

2. Beside each “To-Do” mark it with either an A, B or C in the following categories:

A = Must do
B = Should do
C = Could do

3. Knock 2 items off the B list and 3 items off the C list.

4. Now – write down in their place an activity that will fill you up and add depth to your life.

5. Mark beside it a HUGE A – and you’ve found yourself an hour to do that MUST Do activity!

Celebrating Successful Women – Pretirement Style

Today is International Women’s Day – a day meant to celebrate women and their successes.  Many business women are being celebrated this week, like newly minted billionaire, Spanx Founder and Forbes cover girl Sara Blakely. Blakely is obviously gifted at making money – to the tune of 20% net on $250 million in revenue (wow). She is smart and savvy and incredibly hard working.  No one would dispute that.  But, it does leave me wondering what she had to sacrifice to get there.

The Forbes article notes that, “Blakely is on the road ‘always,’ she says.” The article also briefly touches on her husband and two year old son, “With six homes…he (her husband) and his wife often miss each other. One of them usually has in tow their 2-year-old son, Lazer…” Sounds like a career with a side of family model to me.   A valid personal choice, but perhaps not the greatest role model for entrepreneurial moms who want to be involved with raising their kids.

Today, in honour of International Women’s Day we celebrate a few moms in business who we think are incredibly successful! To us, these women are in many ways more successful than Sara Blakely.  Sure, they aren’t on any Forbes list and you may not have heard of them because they prescribe to a different definition of business success than we are typically taught to appreciate – one beyond revenue, press coverage and employee head count. These inspirational women have been willing to take risks in business and life in order to forge their own path. Along the way, they’ve proven that business success does not have to come at the expense of their families or themselves. That, to us, is true success.

 

Brooke Castillo
Brooke wrote a blog post on her life coaching school site the other day that made us throw up our hands and yell, “Hallelujah!”  For real.  This woman gets it. She knows exactly why she is in business, what she wants to get out of it and most importantly, what she is (and is not) willing to do to get there.

She understands that bigger isn’t necessarily better and that business success is about more than revenue or press coverage or employee head count.  She has a crystal clear business vision and she inspires us to strive for that kind of clarity in our businesses and lives.

Read Brooke’s inspiring post called Me Big. Business Little.

Follow Brooke at:
http://www.brookecastillo.com
https://twitter.com/#!/BrookeCastillo

 

Heather Greenwood Davis
Heather (AKA the Globetrotting Mama) is a travel writer by trade.  Last year, she embarked on a year-long trip around the world with her husband and two sons, ages 8 and 6, in tow.  They’ve been on the road for 253 days and Heather has been blogging along the way. We recently became enamored with Heather’s blog since being introduced by the fabulous Jillian Walker to posts like Good Mothers about how she struggles with mothering on her own terms, especially when it comes to decisions like taking her kids out of school for a year.  We also love her insight into the places she’s visiting and enjoy living vicariously through her with each post.

Heather inspires us because she’s an avid traveler and she’s willing to take some risks in order to provide her kids with the adventure of a lifetime!

Follow Heather at:
http://globetrottingmama.com
http://twitter.com/greenwooddavis
www.facebook.com/globetrottingmama

 

Tacey Gosling
We had the pleasure of meeting Tacey at a MomCafe event we spoke at a couple of years back.  She was the event’s photographer and was just getting started with her photography business. It was immediately evident that Tacey is one of the beautiful people, inside and out.  We were instantly drawn to her and we’re so happy we’ve kept track of her and her journey!

Tacey inspires us because she had the courage to quit her exciting, lucrative career as a crime analyst where she was the top in her field.  Why? Because she knew it wasn’t right for her.  It had taken a toll on her family and her health and she decided to do something about it. Once she quit, she didn’t immediately know what to do next.  She had the patience and courage to take the time to figure it out before moving forward. Once she established her vision, she worked tirelessly to create it.

Tacey’s contributions through her business make a difference in a way that is so needed in this world.  Her job is to make women look and feel beautiful and she does it extremely well! Tacey continually pushes the limits with her business and is a true innovator.

Follow Tacey at:
http://taceyphotography.com/blog/
https://twitter.com/#!/TaceyPhoto
https://www.facebook.com/taceyphotography

 

Eva Hamori
Eva’s story started one day in White Rock, BC when she turned to her husband and asked, “What if we had one year left to live? What would we do?” His answer (and hers)? Slow down, spend time with their young family, and move to more days of sunshine.

From there, they decided to sell everything, pack up and move the family to Southern France to make a go of a family business that would allow them to maximize their time together. Eva is unique in her openness and courage to change basically everything about her and her family’s life. That really inspires us, as well as her resiliency and adaptability as she figures out her new life living abroad.

In five months the Hamoris have found a home in the small French village of Capestang and have started a cool little business renting out Westfalias. They also just wrapped up filming an episode of House Hunters International (we’ll keep you posted on when their episode will be aired).

She’s been sharing insights into her journey with us here.

Follow Eva at:
http://www.thatshamori.com
http://twitter.com/thatshamori
https://www.facebook.com/thatshamori

5 Fave Posts of All Time

It’s a very exciting day here at Pretirement Living!  This marks our 100th post. Woo hoo!!

There’s been so much to say about Pretirement, as it relates to a wide variety of subjects from business models to personal finances to parenting.  Thanks so much for joining us on this journey and helping to expand the conversation around success beyond money! We hope the blog has helped you demand more from your business/career and life.

We’re only just getting started! There is certainly much more to say.

Today, we take a moment to look backward. We’ve taken stock of all the posts we’ve written here and chosen our 5 Faves (so far). We’d love to hear if any of them impacted you and if so, how?

 

1. 20 Things We’d Like to See Happen in 2012

Excerpt:
Instead of resolutions, we’ve created a list of things we’d like to see happen in 2012. Some are professional, some personal and some slightly random. We encourage you to add yours in the comments below!

1. May 2012 be the year that people learn to value time more than money.
2. May 2012 be the year that people spend more time connecting with real-life heroes (they are everywhere!) than watching self-appointed “celebrities” on reality tv.
3. May 2012 be the year that people learn cell phone etiquette and realize it is not ok to text or talk on a cell phone when you are being helped at a store or a bank. It is not ok to text while eating dinner with friends or family. Instead of texting while waiting in a line, why not chat up a stranger?
4. May 2012 be the year that people discover there are many ways to make money other than a traditional 9-5 job.
{See the Full List}

 

2. You’d die for your kids. Will you live for them?

Excerpt:
“I would die for my children, and more importantly I would live for my children.” (Rosie O’Donnell)

We work darn hard to teach our children to:
- say please and thank you
- be respectful and gracious
- eat healthy food and exercise
- brush every tooth
- learn how to read and write

We tend to be less conscious about other important life lessons that are mainly taught by example.  The types of lessons that teach them how to live… {Read More}

 

3. Do Something. It’s All We Ask.

Excerpt:
We believe that drastic changes need to happen to fix our dysfunctional relationship to work. Work is running (and ruining) too many people’s lives. Too many children are suffering due to their parents’ relationships with work. It’s time to redefine success and expect more from work than just money. We also believe that parents are going to be the change-makers that reinvent work into a more inclusive, supportive model that adds value to an individual’s life on many fronts, not just financially. After all, we parents have the most to lose with the current model and, therefore, the most to gain if it changes.

Do me favour? Fast-forward 20 years and picture someone who knows you well discussing your career. Perhaps they’d say “He would have done some really cool stuff…but his boss wouldn’t let him.” {Read More}

 

4. The Death of Retirement

Excerpt:
What we’ve been sold since our first day of work is that if we work hard and contribute to our retirement savings diligently, we will be rewarded with “golden years” filled with time and freedom to pursue our hobbies and dreams. Sounds great!  There’s a small problem. Today’s reality is significantly different from the sales pitch. The traditional retirement model worked 50 years ago, but now it is broken. Quite simply – the numbers just don’t add up anymore.

Instead of accepting a model that doesn’t fit our reality when it comes to work and when to stop, why can’t we change the terminology and therefore how we think about it?   {Read More}

 

5. The Pretirement Manifesto

It’s hard to express the love we have for the Pretirement Manifesto that our friend Heather graciously designed for us to communicate what Pretirement stand for in a “snapshot” format.

How to Save $12,000 in 12 Months by Living in Paradise

As the global economy continues to expand, opportunities for geo-arbitrage also increase. This is great news for Pretirees!

Arbitrage, by definition, is the practice of taking advantage of a price difference between two or more markets. Geo-arbitrage takes advantage of a price difference between two or more locations.  Geo-arbitrage is most commonly applied to labour costs (i.e outsourcing parts of your business to lower priced virtual labour in other countries), but it can also be extended to real estate and living expenses.

Do you know someone who has moved away to a less desirable location in order to secure a better job?  That’s geo-arbitrage – moving to a different location to take advantage of a higher pay scale.  It can work the other way, too. Moving to a location with a lower cost of living creates the same net effect as getting paid more.

I’m going to share in detail in this post how my family and I used geo-arbitrage in 2011 to lower our cost of living substantially by splitting our year between living in Whistler, Canada, one of the top ski destinations in the world, and Santa Teresa, Costa Rica, a small surf town where we live across the street from one of the Top 10 beaches in the world.

I felt the need to write this post because people tend to assume that the locations we live in must equate to an extravagant lifestyle. To me, more money in the bank means more freedom in my life, so we actually lead a relatively frugal lifestyle.

In fact, the Pretired lifestyle that we live now costs less than the one we lived prior to Pretirement – to the tune of $12,000 savings per year.

How can this be possible?  Let me show you.

The table below compares the difference between renting in Vancouver for a year vs. renting in Whistler for 8 months, Santa Teresa for 3 months and living in Victoria for 1 month – which is the exact equation of where/how we lived in 2011.

Cost of Living Comparison

The Facts Behind the Numbers
- The Vancouver rental cost is based on what were paying to rent a 2 bedroom coach house in East Vancouver (unfurnished) prior to Pretiring.
- The Whistler rental cost is for a furnished 2 bedroom condo on the mountain.  The pricing is indicative of what you can pay if you live in the resort during the off-season. During the high season, we moved to Costa Rica.
- We incurred the cost of a storage unit in Vancouver, as we rented furnished places in Whistler and Costa Rica.
- We lived at my in-laws’ rent-free in Victoria for one month during the  Christmas season.
- I didn’t count the expense of airfare to and from Costa Rica into the equation as we would fly to a tropical location for a holiday each year if we weren’t Pretired.
- There are other, less significant, areas of savings and expense (power and internet in Costa Rica are covered, living in Whistler required us to buy winter tires, etc.) but for the purpose of simplicity I’ve left them out of the equation.

Full disclosure – our situation isn’t quite as simple as the above example. We own a condo in the downtown Vancouver neighbourhood of Yaletown.  We rent it out rather than live in it, as it affords us more freedom.  When the income vs. expenses for that property wash out, we end up saving approximately $11,000 per year living the way we do, as opposed to living in the property. We continue to build equity through that investment.

So, there it is. Pretty simple, right? By approaching location creatively and taking advantage of geo-arbitrage (both regionally and globally), I’ve effectively given myself the equivalent of close to a $15,000 pre-tax raise. The bonus is living in some of the most amazing places on earth!

If you build a Pretirement-based business that affords the freedom and flexibility to determine where you work and you’re willing to do things differently than everyone else, you can live like a rock star AND save more money than your 9-5 working, suburban dwelling friends. Yet another reason Pretirement rocks!

Fear vs FUD – Know the Difference

Diana and I began our careers in the technology industry.  When we started out, there was a particular marketing tactic that was being used heavily throughout the industry. It was called FUD.  FUD stands for Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt.

The most memorable FUD campaigns centred around Y2K, at the turn of the century.  You probably remember vividly where you were on New Year’s Eve of 1999, not because it was an exciting time to be a part of human history but because part of you thought this might be the end of human history!  In the months leading up to Y2K we were all sold a message of fear on a grand scale and many of us bought it. In the end, of course, nothing all that bad went down on Jan 1, 2000 and we’re all still here. So what was the purpose?  To sell us stuff.  The same goes for everything from end of the world scenario movies to the nightly news to bank ads for RRSPs (retirement is a huge FUD factory).  Fear sells.

There are two things I’d like to ask you to do now that you’re familiar with the term FUD that will empower you to be a discerning consumer and a more powerful decision maker in all aspects of your life.

1 – The next time you’re consuming media (Internet, TV, movies) consider if there is a FUD factor being used to try and sell you something.  Modern advertising is sneaky and it might be hard to recognize at first, but once you can link the fact that what you are watching is meant to make you fearful for the sole reason of buying something, the fear automatically lessens and you can distance yourself from it.

2 – The next time you’re feeling fearful, decide whether it is rational fear or a form of FUD.  If it’s just FUD (either external or self-imposed), then walk away from it.  Decide that you’re not going to buy into it this time.  You’ll be amazed at how empowering it is when you can make decisions knowing they are not based in FUD.

Fear is important. It serves a purpose to keep us away from harm and we should listen to ourselves when we are fearful.  But we should also learn to recognize FUD and reject it if it is keeping us from what we truly want.